bocker bocks

...workin'...

2009-09-10T23:57:00.000-07:00

whoosh

stunned underneath and all over

yet

puzzles and matrix and logarithm chart out
in delicate lace ideas

we line up
and give harder than we can give ourselves

-arf 09

...no listeners (for Delores)...

2009-05-01T00:04:00.000-07:00

You whistle up the dead
You draw a ring around the sun
You chalk up the races you’ve all lost but one
You take snap shots of moments
An feed them to the cure
You keep searchin’ and searchin’
And beggin’ god for

And there aint no listeners here
No given facts to your fears
It’s all odd numbers and lightningless thunder
There aint no listeners here

Tea cups lined with gold
In the form of the unknown
They’re lined up and waiting
For they’re fortunes to be told
And it may all end up in lies
But there’s no way of goin’
Save the truth from the forlorn
If you want to pay for the lights

And there aint no listeners here
Only you know the taste of your tears
Its all the first if you overcome the worst
There aint no listeners here

Waking the kids in the middle of the night
Gotta give in to cravings you can no longer fight
Mom we gotta get the change outta here
It’s almost two am oh dear
I’ll be up in three days
An be devilishly handsome despite all the haze
We’ll be part of the story
And fuck all the glory
Some son will sing will sing of our days

Because they’re aint no listeners here
Nobody to translate that year
Only thoughts and scars and smiles and memoirs
There aint no listeners here

You whistle up the dead
You draw a ring around the sun
You chalk up the races you’ve all lost but one
You take snap shots of moments
An feed them to the cure
You keep searchin’ and searchin’
And beggin’ god for

-arf 09

…life you can find…

2009-04-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

gotta look for
all the life you can find
gotta search for
every second you can’t rewind

gotta look for
all the life you can find
gotta search for
sparing moments where you were kind

on your horizon
oughta be shades of blue
on your door step
oughta be a tattered you

come to heal
come to find your secrets sealed
forced to raise hell
forced to take my soul and sell

sink
your teeth
into me

sink
your teeth
into me

gotta look for
all the life you can find
gotta search for
anything to make you blind

gotta look for
all the life you can find
gotta search for
any hint of your demise

in your worst dreams
only darkness in you grin
first thing at sunrise
sweat pouring from you skin

come to heal
come to find your secrets sealed
forced to raise hell
forced to take my soul and sell

sink
your teeth
into me

sink
your teeth
into me

-arf 09

...carnival sponge...

2009-01-31T02:37:00.000-08:00

knee deep
and if the wading comes then crack is then

grip the wheel
a little too hard
and ward it off by wishing
for rain

upcoming exit
and appearing
on the right

where all that sat before
a closed store
a scar
of recent times

is a glowing
beautiful
spinning

Ferris Wheel

it is cold out
there is visible breath in my face with each breath and it fills the cabin

and yet

lights
and lights
and lights
on the right

in the parking lot

of the closed brand name store

life
and (hopefully) young love
are open
for business

and the rest of the ride home
feel the drain

-arf 09

Letter from the Editor

2008-10-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

Here are two poems I wrote some time ago now that have been on this “blog” thing since they were written, but to anyone who ever stops by here, I would like to present them again. I do not take enjoyment out of providing an “explanation” to any piece I have written, and never have. However, I feel I should say something of these two pieces. The heart of these pieces is the concept of Liberty and her descent into the madness of ever encroaching religiosity. I can think of no time better than a moment where we here in my home state of California are being asked to vote as to whether or not a valuable aspect of the human experience meets the requirement set for being treated with the dignity and respect deserved to all peoples. As an American, I am saddened, albeit unsurprised, by the question. I know and have known too many people not to be outraged. Here are the pieces, the first is an examination of the idea of religious encroachment upon Liberty, the other, the moment of Liberty’s demise. The second should actually be contained in the first, though I like them separated. Despite their tone, I do keep hope. If anyone ever reads this, Thank You.

...they say she gone mad...
whipped the way that skin gets torn when
bound the way that hands pray
there comes through this valley a ghost encased in gold
a rider with scars on his hands
and a fortune teller dying in the sun

she holds the home together with grit
hard the way that only your children's deaths can
sewn the way that dried up makes
there is dust in the distance
and the air doesn't want to move

a wolf raises his ears like sound had cracked
and watches the trio roll by
haunch over hunch and lost it would seem
save the smell of fear
from the house just ahead

she bars the door like fort
and watches with hard pale eyes
close like secrets they gather their strength in long breaths
but not enough
and they make a camp just outside

two days pass and she has not blinked
a cross in one hand and the rifle in the other
hoping one will protect her
and the other set her free

on the third day the fortune teller dies
and as the ghost gets drunk
the rider rips his right eye out and decides against the other
just as the corpse had said he would do

burned the way that desert is cracked
snared the way that paws trapshe is finally shocked into sleep
long the way of failed hunt
her grip on freedom slides

the ghost will take her soul
the rider the eye he thinks will suit
the fortune teller rises from the dead
and as the dust gets kicked up away away
the wolf moves into the home

-arf 06

...oh say can she see...
she spills herself onto broken ground
watches her insides go
with hands not meant for this she holds in what she can
but the pressure and the heat and the ooze of it all keeps
it allows itself out
storming like flash

there is hoping
there is praying
there will be more symptoms to bear

her breath is hot lead
a mix of molten dreams and fiery contempt
as if lung against lung were the natural order of things
she tells herself she will not keel silently
as her tongue melts on the floor at her feet

there is salutingt
here is singing
there will be more losses like this

someone lesser by now would not be
her skin becoming a terrible candy
a treat for the hurt in its hour of need
still her balance holds
but she is no longer sureif it is her or it
or both holding fast to the other

there is demanding
there is warring
there will be more fearful dark ahead

breakpoint passed she feels it all crack
the know in her must try and hold

along the edges of her dazed vision
she sees enough to warrant the next promise
of another day
another step closer
to a heal
that snuck out behind her
years ago

-arf 06

not so new song

2008-04-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

…the fourth of July…

I got corn
I got dreams
And there sure seems to be enough pie

I got you
You got me
And we’ve both got the fourth of July

It’s the fourth of July
It’s the fourth of July
We’re sending all our hopes
Up in smoke
On the fourth of July

Well Jenny’s winning the sack race
Dragging Johnny by his toes
And grandma’s sneaking one more spirit
How many she’s had
Who knows

It’s the fourth of July
It’s the fourth of July
We’re sending all our hopes
Up in smoke
On the fourth of July

The kids are all ‘round Uncle Charlie
As he digs for loose change
Cause every quarter from his pocket is sure to buy more rockets
For what might as well be outer space

It’s the fourth of July
It’s the fourth of July
We’re sending all our hopes
Up in smoke
On the fourth of July

I’m about to ask
If I can hold your hand
But just when I do
You grab mine
And hell I’ll be damned

Say goodnight
As the family takes flight
And gathers up all their things
Sweep the ashes into a pile
And thank the Lord for all he brings

I got corn
I got dreams
And there sure seems to be enough pie

I got you
You got me
And we’ve both got the fourth of July

It’s the fourth of July
It’s the fourth of July
We’re sending all our hopes
Up in smoke
On the fourth of July

We’re sending all our hopes
Up in smoke
On the fourth of July

We’re sending all our hopes
Up in smoke

-arf 07

...a few songs...

2008-03-11T00:43:00.000-07:00

…the way…

Your fortune says that you might kill your brother
You cant be sure but you wont tell no other
Till you’ve lost your way
With no paupers left standing to pay
A blood stained cloud in the wake of all you’ve slain
Makes you weep at night for refrain
Cause you’ve lost your way
You deny but you’re deep in the fray
Of a broken life
An evil strife

You want to get out you get right back in
Tell yourself it’s the way its been
Lying awake you cant sleep at night
Sitting up till the craving takes flight
You’re on the prowl till dawn makes light

Your fortune says that you might kill your brother
You can’t be sure but you won’t tell no other
Till you’ve lost your way
Knees down and your trying to pray
A grizzly list of sins you convey
Making god weep at night and regret that sixth day
Cause you’ve lost your way
You know but knowing somehow makes it gray
In your mind’s eye
You’ve already died

You want to get out you get right back in
Tell yourself it’s the way its been
Lying awake you cant sleep at night
Sitting up till the craving takes flight
You’re on the prowl till dawn makes light

This has got to end
You’ve been left with a one and only friend
You look around and there surely there’s no other
You take a breath and go looking for your brother
And you know the way
Of course you know the way
Of course you know the way
You’ve always known the way

…home free…
suncrests like oxygen
it burns
photograph like x-ray glass
it burns

home free from the jet set scene
like alcohol
like gasoline
breakneck back
'cross the grass
as engines slash
this filthy little dream

potionless like motionless
it burns
gouges like the sharpest knife
it burns
home free from the jet set scene
like alcohol
like gasoline
breakneck back
'cross the grass
as engines slash
this filthy little dream

Thrash about like screams out loud
It burns
Burn free
Burn free

Cauterize this clap trap life
Filth aside I cannot lie
Wake me
wake me

home free from the jet set scene
like alcohol
like gasoline
breakneck back
'cross the grass
as engines slash
this filthy little dream

…gonna fly…
Who
Is here to meet you
Gonna meet you
Gonna fly

Who
Is here to meet you
Gonna meet you
gonna fly

I’m gonna ask you
about your heart now
Abut your
Subtle reasons why

You skulked
And you plotted
My very own demise

A bloody blackened torture creep crawling
Cross your mind
A sickened dace
Of as sycophant
A broken slipper
Just in time

Who
Is here to meet you
Gonna meet you
Gonna fly

Who
Is here to meet you
Gonna meet you
gonna fly

...our filthy age...

2008-03-06T01:13:00.000-08:00

zephyr touch as the hallowed kind makes its way into the ugly foyer
bow down
and keel over
the high times are on their way

flat and gilded spreading no where near thin on the dance floor solid
clap hands
and keel over
it don’t get no better than that

slit throat parade laden linen made of blood from the devilishly handsome
raise drinks
and keel over
may the sporting be well and good

tap tap
huzzah huzzah
no lives as important
than this

arf 08

...kinda screwy...

2007-08-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

i was there when i was there
which
saddens me
because
now

i’m not there at all

the sun had been more than brilliant
and the geniuses hopping mad
but that long ago
things get
kinda screwy
so don’t
hold me to
any
of this

someone applauding
and i remember liking that
but also being made
sick

the times spent in that
graveyard
so old
and kicking
stream like gold in my heart now
but who cares
really
if i don’t

besides
all those people were dead
all these people are dead
all this person is dead

soon enough
by any
standard

-arf 07

...sought after...

2007-08-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

hard wind along the edge
spent heart beating
a
few
more
beats
the sweat of a thousand thousand full speed steps
drowns the brow
and pools at the feet

the view from here
a tincture of rotten and the sublime
a fused
made up
sickened world
struck
by insanity unbeknownst save now
a fought for
sought after
paradise
of eaten flesh
and sand run out
to sink

wring the hands
and cull the dread into the corner where dread is culled
know from standing here

but do not say

we are all paper demons
tearing in the gale

-arf 07

...fears of the age...

2007-08-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

stand before us
hunt the last of our hopes
consult away the fears of the age
tally the cents
and make none of the good kind

spray paint the issues on the air in front of you
like small cover
from the truth

ohhs
ahhs
contribute by clicking

here

sheer gall and trump and what kind of who would ever

we are scrutinized far more than
these harmful representations of
leader

free
world

-arf 07

...daily planet poem...

2007-08-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

sun god rises
city yawns
and little bells
like x-mas
ring and stretch
and trudge
through

muck

-arf 07

...not loosed...

2007-08-07T17:21:00.000-07:00

racing sublimely towards no hurt
the folly piling on the foisted import of the quickened moment
artificially made fast by the sullen hatred so softly laid inside the whole
like shard
shoved into the cortex
to disarm the screams
not loosed
or imagined

under flags and sales and ever shortening moments of collection plate horror
we glide

-arf 07

...searchers...

2007-08-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

serpentine hold
squelching fortunes gone after dreams hardened by watch hand pass
hundreds of searchers in this line
hundreds of searchers in this line

clamor underneath the plate glass weight
the see through
way in which those who placed it
placed it
softly in the way of your growth

a maze of the highest order laid out with no discernable path
no airspace here
no overpass
no way in which to make short

claw for a seam
a rift
a tear
a golden apple filled with fire

like reticulated
the air goes out
hundreds of searchers in this line
hundreds of searchers in this line

-arf 07

...was a man...

2007-08-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

flounder hot like lost beats waiting for the synapse signal to be buried six feet soon
someone salt the swan song to make it go down smooth
no traction here

kept in the dark by darkness kept
clear looks over the vista
that endless glare fluorescent flat

cold follows the wake of the dynamite heart
sheer is the floor as its feel belies your ghost
someone could be yelling for help
someone should be yelling for help

-arf 07

...a virtue...

2007-08-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

gunner’s perch and it is wet all over outside
breath like heavy handed punches expel and contract in such a quiet way
he cannot tell that he his actively keeping them so

one can make a case for the oddest of things he thinks
like murder
or lunch

blackbirds like fools gather and peck at whatever it is that blackbirds peck at foolishly
he does not like them
though there is not much not to like
patience is the friend of killers
thieves
and rich men inside of young women
young women who peck

still life lived now for days
waiting for shot

when it comes it will be the one quick thing he has done in some time
and he will slink away
through the moist
and leave his thoughts
the blackbirds
and one dead rich man
behind

-arf 07

…what to watch for…

2007-07-19T00:59:00.001-07:00

until
the moon finds a way to go absolutely mad
the makers of time lose their way
or the smallest beam of light through the window onto your hand goes dim
this will be my holding of you
this will be my holding of you

ensigns and home and anything other than the lilt in you look as you laugh
are not for now

arf 07

...carving out the heart...

2007-07-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

the ritual pants
short and quick sparks become seams
and at the seams split
a river melts into chasm
and fills the most poignant purses of the flesh

it is grey against violet reds
it is stalking the silhouettes
and breaking through the broken
only to come out
crestfallen
and less aware

but you and i both know it is more than that

it is warped
snow capped
and sunken
but somehow proud

disengaged and gone

yet wonders of the searching mind
are never far
call it home
call it bewildering sweetness

coming across seas most struggling
it is barren and teaming with less
than you know
offering open arms and singsong lullabies
quietly to sleep

and warning shots awaken
from seconds slipping by too fast to see
so that the aftermath
our laughter
the getting away from hearts and lungs
signalizes central caustic wrongdoings

and if the lights don't flicker
then forget it

it is a blemish scoring a secondhand goal
as frothing becomes

and we can watch our pasts trickle away in buckets
with all the subtlety of a marching band
parading across the mind

it is at times
impunity at the highest
and at others
the most realistic experiment with the forms
ever noted by historians worldwide

it is giving up for the dreams of it all
shining sunshine wishes through plate glass sacraments
and seeing nothing in between

i see homes i will never go into
and roads into hearts i will never now
and what it is is where it was
over there
behind my shoulder
that good luck thing i picked up as a kid
haunting
and materializing as much more than anything else ever did

blow smoke upon the earth
and wish it holy nights to come
nights behind hill beneath our forgotten cries
as moments of whatever weakness
slowly seeking the surface
are doused and made missing again
with a nod
and a screamless shudder

and if it were more than that
i think i would have
nothing more to do

but in some cases
the nightingale's caress
transforms them into the likes of which
has not been seen or heard from
since

behind every hunger there is a thirst
and behind you is much more
than me
more like a cast of thousands

all diving
cauterized against the fall
hurling each other toward the madness

all for the beautiful
empowering
landscape of the explored and mapped soul
because
as we know it
it is all the muse
for the world

arf 98

...do not cross...

2007-05-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

moonscape vast
laid out never ending ends of rocket history crescendo
we take no hand
and trudge full through

somewhere this makes glory
it has to
how else to explain
the need for scab to cover
to heal
to hide

whole patterns of scorched
tears of soot
snot of pain

violence rumbles the heart like you and i rumbled this place

open
the veins show themselves bloodless
in spray of ever hotter sun
the same one planning our demise
for this

thank any god someone is on the case

arf 07

...deserted...

2006-11-02T21:25:00.000-08:00

garbled and hushed the meaning of the day comes through the way opaque idolatry seeps scrubbed history
windows stained with smashed particles of wish list glory mounted on heaps of empty hand dismay
consolation in the last time tricked
as not making it through the night
becomes routine

streams of waif yelp sounds of strength but no sustain of this can make clear the hands of those guilty
no one's army lining up against

shield the eyes with purchase cure
ignore full ahead the smashing fists and flailing hearts
knuckle dragging hate
and why us
(too much)
why us

arf 06

...love my machine...

2006-10-30T22:05:00.000-08:00

garden like this makes spinning hoof floaters of us all
canister creators filing the holdings of dormant estates
dream thieves and sales force of the depleted
fresh like meat to cleave

soft tissue mush and this vista screams magic words
feet pile on feet pile on feet
knick-knack scrubbers and gizmo cudgellers
a line up of x’d out eyes

fountain
here
pours so fresh
makes me want to slay

arf 06

...briefed...

2006-10-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

plastic podium stands tall like horse
to child

making its way through heaven

they call this the feed

hunting a legacy
standing knee deep in other peoples dreams
this keeps
happening

the twentieth time the
first look
exclusive
never before aired
behind the scenes
scoop

someone get elvis
this motherfucker needs to be shot

arf 06

...reaching for the chase...

2006-10-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

skylights beam stolen reality
to the story
forming outside my window

flames lick like coughing from deep

candy soaked voluptuous frenzy
and craning the neck to see

sending
sending

chapter after chapter
dancing out the plot
but floundering at the points of character greatness
the story presents itself
as more
than the players could ever be

scores of torches and quick thunder recess
driving
scalding
from the scene

do not cross
do not make amends
do not
tear the flesh at the pressure points

there is meaning
and there is horror
as the story spills itself
on the pages before me

candid
fearful moments
bidding you good night

feathers tickle the throat and throbbing

forgotten
the theatre
and the magic

of sending myself
out
on a branch that may
not hold

and there i find the story
finding me
and becoming
more

arf '98

...gift graft...

2006-10-07T02:16:00.000-07:00

shimmer darling shimmer
hold fireflies in each part of your big soul
crackle the flames hopped up on a longless plateau
this is a hoop
don't jump

careen into place
nudge the foggy gone
scale like dart and who's gonna believe
the band
when they belt out this tune

haggard and doubled over
past that
run from that
vultures only eat what is left behind

take xylophone steps through horn section plains
cunning is the way
and dredged is the other path

marvel

this view is yours
you diamond shining mad mad mad against all storms
parlay and harvest and make full
no more could be vested
for all there is
is this

arf 06

...long night's drive...

2006-10-04T21:52:00.000-07:00

the owl swoops over the windshield
heart darts back to search so frozen
long strides
deep steps
the hum of the engine grins the way these thoughts tickle my head

salt filled wind and a no shake morning
the man outside is giving away free car washes
i know
because he keeps yelling it

you stop where you want to stop

it seems to be raining ice cream again
just hold out a banana
and split

the sign says four hundred and thirty two
miles
and the owl says
the journey will be mice free

the car does need washing
and a treat sounds good
but i don't think i believe that owl
so it may be best to guard our little meals

you go where you want to go

arf 06

...underworked...

2006-10-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

hymnal count against the wall
strange people glide like ocean
the braggarts reverberate
but never collapse

like forgotten hoovervilles the swell flows
watering down dreams already made of nightmarishly small victories
numbing accounts of no one singing at all
golden hands tossing rotten crumbs

this margin is a giant with godawful eyesight
lumbering like a noose jerks
a press ground band aid answer
after bumbling question seeps

along a line there is no fortune
no switch back to real
a sweet storm blowing out the candles
last chance dealt a losing hand

-arf 06

...those were the good...

2006-09-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

zipper crisp and singsong clearing
spiders making runs at dusting hour
hollow focus courses
and fragment jigs at fading light

another old farmhouse boy
his horse's name is apex

porches glide the pen and cloud cover the way
the dough fries glittering gold
lately the dog makes nice
slop piles along the last route home

another old farmhouse boy
his first love died too long ago

blackbird fresh does heal mess
gallant the remain
trough right up to blood kin parade
more than not the moonrise comes circle bone

another old farmhouse boy
he kills a snake a day

arf 06

...oh say can she see...

2006-09-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

she spills herself onto broken ground
watches her insides go
with hands not meant for this she holds in what she can
but the pressure and the heat and the ooze of it all keeps
it allows itself out
storming like flash

there is hoping
there is praying
there will be more symptoms to bear

her breath is hot lead
a mix of molten dreams and fiery contempt
as if lung against lung were the natural order of things
she tells herself she will not keel
silently
as her tongue melts on the floor at her feet

there is saluting
there is singing
there will be more losses like this

someone lesser by now would not be
her skin becoming a terrible candy
a treat for the hurt in its hour of need
still her balance holds
but she is no longer sure
if it is her or it
or both holding fast to the other

there is demanding
there is warring
there will be more fearful dark ahead

breakpoint passed she feels it all crack
the know in her must try and hold
along the edges of her dazed vision
she sees enough to warrant the next promise
of another day
another step closer
to a heal
that snuck out behind her
years ago

arf 06

...they say she gone mad...

2006-06-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

whipped the way that skin gets torn when
bound the way that hands pray
there comes through this valley a ghost encased in gold
a rider with scars on his hands
and a fortune teller dying in the sun

she holds the home together with grit
hard the way that only your children's deaths can
sewn the way that dried up makes
there is dust in the distance
and the air doesn't want to move

a wolf raises his ears like sound had cracked
and watches the trio roll by
haunch over hunch and lost it would seem
save the smell of fear
from the house just ahead

she bars the door like fort
and watches with hard pale eyes
close like secrets they gather their strength in long breaths
but not enough
and they make a camp just outside

two days pass and she has not blinked
a cross in one hand and the rifle in the other
hoping one will protect her
and the other set her free

on the third day the fortune teller dies
and as the ghost gets drunk
the rider rips his right eye out and decides against the other
just as the corpse had said he would do

burned the way that desert is cracked
snared the way that paws trap
she is finally shocked into sleep
long the way of failed hunt
her grip on freedom slides

the ghost will take her soul
the rider the eye he thinks will suit
the fortune teller rises from the dead
and as the dust gets kicked up away away
the wolf moves into the home

arf 06

...lightless...

2006-06-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

like a vault full of memories has been shut
locked before illuminated
shunned before seen
not much has changed in the face of goodbye
unless you count the denizens that howl when i sleep
but for the chance of comfort once
the sights of heaven
the patter of rain against snow laden trees when we were
good night dearest
may the rush of otter creek caress you insides
as it briefly did mine
may you find your dreams underneath your thumb
and may the pages of your life fill themselves with joy

on a cold evening
underneath orion
walking backwards in front of you
trying to stop every second before it had
past

arf 97

...the edge of creation...

2006-06-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

collision remains
scattering
engaging the void
courageously running the marathon sprint
against nothing

arf 06

...goddamn this...

2006-05-17T01:26:00.000-07:00

delicious licked clean like charm spread thick

like constant
reassuring

squeeze of hand like gaze met thin

like cinnamon
has changed

in years gone by
there lays bare a quiet
closed eyed
spent
past spent
and that just kills

just kills

arf 06

...not kansas...

2005-11-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

buckle down the phantoms
as the pillars around you fall
while waves of burn encroach
like a rising of the flesh's tide
along a beaten shore of left over
tremor marked
faces
filled with
indescribable
unexplained
joy

working parts spare like hospital dust
keep afloat
the way others find laugh
in hardscrabble hands
or empty save hope
as one wrings the next
past defeat
and through chase like cut

fog is fog and the undertow leads despite the blind
and though i do not see the wreckage
before me
i can feel your embrace

welcome home

arf 05

...bald...

2005-11-07T01:27:00.000-08:00

recover the notes
along the seams split akin to hollow calls at midnight amongst not so friends
and piece together an old masterpiece
of trepidation
like hard candy tears the mouth
she cries and one cannot become the needed
any more than one can become the had
when pushed
when paled like witness lied
when under the behemoth of gossamer just
like soul
loses the call and finds the flats minor when full

her hands press heavy
with hurt
and crass edges breaded in sounds
light to the touch
and harsh to the flesh
splits
the heaved
and murderous
and unfinished
and wet with wounds so foul
as to make jugdement
easy attained in operation modal

loss is not much more than period passed by with a dash of hope
and gain is nothing languishing in fear

gather and keep
borne out of need
there cannot yearn as hard as push deep by conundrum found
inside the whole
of one
without edges defined

maze this is not

turns i see
dive into choice laid forth
force corrections said north
south
and
two other
if need
were ever if speed
finds dull

that's when you and i
make haste
like eagle
scared of waste
of the image
that
one
has made

shot shot
shot shot

and kill
and kill

grabbed and filled

with doesn't the hill

make free

-05

...beggar...

2005-11-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

dusted i come to this
wiped out from the heat and the long strides i have not made
alarm clock and try to smash
come again i wanted to tell you
come again

withered the hands and special the chance to touch
slumped over the couch like pulverized
meat
you can’t be held like this
for too long
it burns
and snatches breath
and snatches breath

my ache culls me into a sleep
where i dream not of you but of how to
put you down
humanely
or not

there is not enough blood on the hands of this world

tee hee

reeks the scent of the part where i wake up
and i don’t know you
and i realize
that despite
i failed
and that
i always fail

-05

...breadcrumbs...

2005-11-04T00:24:00.000-08:00

porous heart
reached to longings end
spreads itself like hot iron press
along its own drawn out trail

each mark leading to the next
each harder and deeper than the last
each not of the other
despite a pattern
despite a direction known

if one
just once
had spelled the fortune that the step by step tide and its no ebb had wrought
how then would it be found

so tossed
so misplaced

do not be alarmed as the shade crawls in
that's just wait
folding in on the weight of the two of us
not standing here

the only monster in these parts
is the line
not crooked
not broken
neither whole nor arrow

filled with that which angers hunger
stretching out
feeding its leaks

-05

...a sight for eyes...

2005-10-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

an afterthought to the sublime
curled around my feet
dragging like open sores
a menace griping the serene like sharks teeth on lily cradle fragile

a parade that won’t end
past the cheering
the screaming
the waving
and the pushed way past surreal

traces of this ricochet
dart from smile to sweat
to no more
no more

play that tune
and make it go
south

play that tune
and make it go
south

for another hard winter
spreads out in blinking lights
and song

i can’t hack this hard enough
i can’t grind the edge till break
i can’t quit seeing you behind me
gift wrapped
and grinning

-arf 05

...rather sleep...

2005-09-15T05:29:00.000-07:00

swordplay clangs push on the inner
someone from the end of a hall
is yelling
or singing along
no way to know

so the choice becomes set
from restless and ire

headstrong one by one
pressure reminiscent
of see you later gone
mixed
with hold against grip lost

there is banging from the doors
and still the noise
like fire
eats at the walls with no subdue

cold floor on feet tired

alarm
alarm

there may be no way
to silence
save for
kill

-05

...passable...

2005-09-14T03:58:00.000-07:00

like banquet
the color and wheel style in
giant
circumference
follow the every step
up

like feast
the made radius
exhibits
no common
interest
in
down

stamp close in parade of funeral love

lie like speeches have taught us to lie

grunt
grunt
grunt

jumble the effort
in with the high tide ride

we love you

they say

they always say

-05

...us part...

2005-09-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

she crosses her
fingers
and hold back slash gasp
streams
and falter goes sigh

this is not even the best she can give
but the frame
pulls in the worried edges

here comes the
all dressed in

how does one hit one’s own stride
weather through
or at the least hide the missing
under hand in hand and hand in hand
she wants to ask the quiet
inside her

but come on
let’s not kid

bride

white

-05

...you patriot...

2005-09-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

pile the missteps and shore up the fronts
the carnage
the last bits of esteem

there is coverage on the way

curtail that look given loves
and fellows
amid memories
laiden with dust
or those fresh like hope

there is coverage on the way

and foul fault finders crossing the hairs

free up the gotten past
and the rest taken between the big parts
speread out the solace
and trample the littered pieces as to make them gone gone

there is coverage on the way

there is coverage on the way

there is coverage on the way

-05

...the neighbors can hear us...

2005-09-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

full throttle and hand held is how one somehow
ha
loses his love

against canvas tossed like water color magic

and you can’t even paint

let her have it
on the last day

let it out like snakes and pitfall gorgeous letdown
while hoping hard on tightrope chance

scream
i miss you
into the full moon last night gone
and i love you
into the other woman’s ear

strong arm empty strolls along
what fortune once gave
like dervish and turn

fuck a gambit
and a strategy that would find it’s way through

cash
and
cash and out

this never was any way

-05

...hope chest...

2005-09-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

savage clean and picked
tremor shards and tickle
there are ruptures along the run of the of that last laugh
and fickle fissures in her smile

like a living room painting
of a boat at dock
or ducks in flight whispering saturday’s rockwell pleasant
there is a gilded lilt in her agree
and a death valley gone in her eye

god bless and save us
for why it would matter in the world slipped mad
is beautiful
and secret
and billion shared

left turns make races
and finish lines make champs
she finds neither in either
and some how tsk tsk hope
in all the marrow of us all

-05

...can't miss...

2005-09-01T22:26:00.000-07:00

scramble scramble
gosh gosh

find diamonds in each ears hand

crumble in each tiddly past

and horror crack horror

in the parts where you’ve said
i love you
or
i don’t care

fog bogs
the middle parts
stomach pains
the hardest bits forgotten all but that
toss toss the moments
like loose fur
or lunch

down she keeps
down she keeps
-05

...living haunt...

2005-08-27T01:07:00.000-07:00

spells rain
the hardest dew around the frailest parts
there is a whisper
and it tells
that the holder of this storms eye
is the
weakness maker
the flailer of flesh’s ghosts
the deal breaker

there were cries asking before this
demands made on the evening turned crisp light of morn
whole
unnoticed
lives
wagging their spit-tongues at night's edge

i do not want this
i never wanted

and the breaks of bright come in like the old fire that they are
gold hot and crammed with stories told rifle first
clipped by errand runners from news stands ago
there rises an iron pride
against the mass
the flailer of flesh’s ghosts
the godly made crass

those who held hard healed slow
died young
pressed by the invisible
hand
of
everything

the arranging of voids to form needs

once more she expels in earnest
i do not want this
i never wanted

this

-05

...ice fishing...

2005-08-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

good great
and the between
and here
and you left yesterday
a million years ago

hold this
you had said
while swimming

knee deep and seeing it through
the heavy moss
the darting live creatures unwilling
to lure
me in

make it harder to see you
when your not there

this does not qualify
this cannot matter

ghosts give up all the time

have to know that
have to
know

-05

a begining i suppose

2005-08-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

ah crap, here goes the most useless thing imaginable... more to come i suppose.